I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she was so not down for the gang bang
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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