my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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