Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
