I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
