i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
