just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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