Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
