my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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