hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
