You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
