thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize