i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize