he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You're breaking my sexual little heart
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
