This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
