im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
