i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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