For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
