yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize