brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
