I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
did you just send me my own nude
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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