just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
