Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
