How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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