I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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