worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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