first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
