where am i from again
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
