He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize