It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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