I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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