just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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