Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize