As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
