forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize