I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
