we're blogging at a bar
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Randomize
