when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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