So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
