Rock
Scissors
Fuck
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
