I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
