I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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