no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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