Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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