She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
