"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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