Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
