I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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