My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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