Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
