There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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