I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
