I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize
