She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
