Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
