i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
