He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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