just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
