omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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