I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
