he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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