she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
