I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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