He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
