yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize